If it's not forever, than what?
What do you do, when the only thing you knew, that was yours, isn't to be yours anymore? Do you give up? Wait for it? or perhaps give it that one last go? What do you do when the only thing you ever wanted, is the only thing you can't have?
They say that all that happens ... happens for the best. Who said I wanted best in the first place? Best isn't always better. You come across times in life when you choose to make a difference, but it's so hard to make it when you don't even matter at all.
I guess the worst kind of pain is to lose what wasn't yours in the first place. To lose something that you believed was yours to keep.
When I look back however, it's so hard to trace to the point, where it wasn't alright. Where it wasn't mutual. It is. I always thought that I'm on a two way road ... but we never were on the same road anyway!
Where I stand now, it's rather very odd. It's like all of a sudden everything I ever stood for, all my actions, all my decisions, all my choices, they're all invalid. It's like I don't have a purpose anymore. Purpose or sense!
And all I'd ever want is to have everything to be back as to how it was, back to how it made all so much sense. Back when reciprocation wasn't something that had to be asked for.
When I wasn't miles away.
2 comments:
I hate feeling like this at times.. When you don't know which path to choose... I keep thinking if I should go back and give things a chance or should I just move on. And then it hurts to not know..
Life brings us at such crossroads! I wish life could be simpler and right decisions could be made in a jiffy..Extremely well-written.
Please hang on! This too will pass. :)
Hey confused soul,
Firstly, thank you for reading the blog. And secondly, thank you for empathizing.
In regards to not knowing, I know. It's always a bitch. All of a sudden you come across this other element, which makes you really happy. It's something you'd probably want. Something amazing. And then you realize, why am I not getting this feeling from where I should get it. Why is it that I have to beg for this feeling here, and not there.
As for liking it. Thank you so much.
I'm trying to hold on, let's see where it takes me. It's just, off all the things that has happened, now I'm wondering, whether I even want it or not.
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