Paradise of the lost (A happy story)

Okay so this particular entry is special in a lot of ways. Firstly, it's called 'Paradise of the lost'. The reason for that being a special occasion is because, I was actually writing another entry named the same about a year or so ago, but that never saw the light of the day. It's still in my draft box, but I honestly couldn't have chosen another name that fit my entry so perfectly! Secondly, I had 'Summer Paradise' by Simple Plan on my media player, which was on loop and currently is playing in LOUD level : Insane in my head (because, my brother is sleeping in the bed next to my desktop, possibly can't have him wake up and kill me), that song gets me all, happy and chirpy and bubbly you know? Thirdly, because couple of readers amongst you, I wouldn't call them fans, but just humble readers of mine who contacted me on two occasions, one of them who felt it to be close to her hearts because she could relate to my writing, and the other who was rather 'disappointed' in me for not writing enough - to both of you madames I'm greatly and forever thankful for letting me know that someone actually does bother reading what I write, and appreciates the same. Not to mean that others reading is less effective and valuable to me, but it's just they told me so, hence the mention. In that regards, thank you to the both of you, and everyone who reads all that jargon that I paste every once in a while. :) . Fourthly, that picture up there, if you notice is different then the pictures I always use. For one it is in color. With of course a darker shade, but that was accidental. And furthermore, its a picture that I myself had taken with my phone when it was still in its functioning mode. And I loved the color and the imagery that came about, and now that I'm writing about the following incidence, I can't think of any picture to use other than this because this shares the same emotion from my side as my story. And lastly, but definitely not the least, the fifth reason which is essentially the topic of today's entry - That one rainy morning that I woke up. :)

It's a very constructive incidence. I don't really know why it is so important to me, but it is THE most important memory, one of the most special feelings I have. It makes me ecstatic every time I think of it. It get me giddy-o-jolly! Its like that no other feeling I have ever felt before. And to be honest, I don't really even like the rain. I like the pre-rain moment when it's all dark and cloudy and there's wind and you know that moment of thunder and storm, that I love. But the rain, argh! I just never quite liked the mud that much. But it changed a lot that day. I perhaps will never like rain after that again, or maybe this will change all and everything I think of rain, I guess I'll find out in the monsoon, but that very first summer shower, blew me right off of my feet.

So how is the rain so important? I don't really know. It's funny, because it's the blimmy hot summer of Delhi, and this one night when I was talking to Arushi on the phone, it was really really hot and I was like you know I wish it rains, it's really hot and Arushi was like, well you gotta wait another few months for it not happening now. And after our talk was over, I went off to sleep. 

The next morning, as I remember it I was on my bed, and I'm assuming it to be around 7.30 A.M. in the morning, I kinda false-awake and I'm just laying in my bed, stuck in my own bedlam, feeling cold from the left over the air conditioner, and and woken from this dream that I can't quite recollect, and in a very distant place, I could hear of what I could tell from the noise a distorted noise. But funny as it was, that distortion sounded like a serenade to my ears. I heard it and wanted to fall back asleep to it, that sound made me feel relaxed, humble, benevolent. I closed my eyes again, still on the borders of my bedlam and wishful-thinking, almost as if I was fixated in this trans. And then it hit me, like a meteorite. No, not a meteorite, that feeling neither have I felt nor you, so won't be able to tell, it hit me like that emotion you feel when you want something very badly, but then you forget about it and it doesn't matter anymore ... till it actually happens. Yes! exactly that feeling, the feeling was exactly the same, without any error.I realized then what I heard, that epiphany of distortion was nothing but the sweet sound of rain that was being the guest to my ears. To that melancholy cry of gloom rose my ears that smiled from one end to another. And I ran, I ran toward my back porch/garden. To which I witnessed one of the most phenomenal weather, moment, emotion, memory ever. Everything changed then, I mean it everything. I always though rain was meant for deeper understanding of life, but always in a negative context. The gloom glorified it, but at that moment it was nothing but pure, rawest form of joy that was bursting from my heart. Everything I ever felt about rain had changed. I could almost see the beauty of sorry in it. No, I saw it. It was there, glimpsing at me, staring bravely at me asking me to embrace it. And I did. There was no way around it. I had to for it had such a presence.

Now all of you reading this must be thinking, why's a rain so important. Happens every year. A lot of times. True that, it does! It's not that it was the first summer shower. It's not really the wishful thinking either. I don't know what it is, and honestly I don't want to find out either. Because, the naivety of the situation will be lost if I try too hard to find out. That special tag that has been bestowed to it by the gods and goddesses themselves will lose it's touch. I don't want to upset Zeus for the sounds that woke me that one fine morning. When you have Aeolus drawing his masterpiece, it's best to sit in the corner and observe and lend yourself to the free treat.

I'm sure all of us can relate to this on some level or the other. It's like that one memory, if not as strong as this (or as weak as this for the ones who have a stronger one) which they wouldn't exchange for even the longed wishes they've had for years. For things that matter far beyond the nuisance of this completely absurd, pointless yet much priced incidence. It's like my own Petronus Charm, so whenever I feel gloomy. I feel agitate, or lost or upset ... I close my eyes and think of that very moment when I woke up. That feeling I felt and there it is, my own stag ... my own 'Expecto Petronum'.

Maybe this isn't one my best writing piece, maybe this isn't good at all. But it's special, because it's a day, a moment, a very personal memory from my life that I've shared with you. Maybe it doesn't hold any value for you, perhaps it wont move you. But I hope you remember it. And look for this feeling deep in you, or look for it outside, if you haven't found it yet. It's all in there. That positivity is waiting to be lit by you, do that ... and it'll radiate on it's own.

Regards,
Nirjhar :)