Vision Over Goals

Two years ago when Pallav and I had sat over a cup of coffee at Kuzart Lane and discussed doing something - I'm not quite sure we knew what it meant or what we wanted out of it. For me it was rather a challenge - something I had to do. The back story in a nutshell is when I was in school I wanted to start a business of my own; I wanted to prove to my family amongst many others that "I can". I hated how people simply assumed, I wasn't capable of it. Now don't assume my family looked at me as a dud guy, I was quite casual with life - I mean to an extent I still am. I like to do things because they interest me, not because they hold any greater value. Anyway, 17 and charged me along with two of my mates decided to go ahead and start a venture of our own - which failed. Needless to say, I wasn't going to stop. I told one of them, that I will get something on and I'll go somewhere with it.

Now understand something - Together For A Cause isn't a business. Not quite yet. We're working out our product. And we're working very hard for it. I have seen the look people give me when I tell them I work with an Youth Led Organization and I intend to make money. I don't get it. I mean - I have always believed in life you have to give back to the people who helped you reach where you are. Sometime it's your family, sometime friends, sometime it's the world. In my case, it was all three.

But this post ins't about the concrete idea of what we intend to become. This is of much more value. It's about where we were, and where we have come to. It's a journey that I know only starts now - but seeing this length I know it's going to be nothing short of thrilling, yet sheer hard work. Two years ago, when I had my first meeting with a team - who much like myself had no idea what to do - were just engaged and engulfed with a reason to do something met me. I the novice self, was lost in the idea of ranks and hierarchy - elsewhere the core idea of work and a vision suffered. That's fine however, I don't quite mind - a young blood, full of ambition - I started backwards - and I know I'm moving forwards which is fine. 

It was a tough first meeting - I was scared to death of our Research Head. She was older, smarter, and I knew she knew better. That in my head and the knowledge that I'm to lead in my heart - having never done that before (well at least in this circumstance. And then came meetings and meetings and meetings. As I said young blood - I was also stupid. I was over my head of the initial response (not success) of what I was doing and I assumed this will function. The problem however remained there was no product. It was all intangible.

I became arrogant, wrong, and to sum it up - a butthole. I was managing the whole organization in the worst possible manner. I had no idea of what I was doing (or at least in retrospect it seems) and I was trying to make something of nothing. Till a point in time when the whole thing came to a haul. For a long time. And I thought this is it. One more of my endless part-time adventures. Which ended in nothing but futile efforts. But then it hit me. Together For A Cause isn't "Nirjhar". It's not "I". And it's most definitely not "mine". It's about a team which had worked timelessly and with all their heart and soul which I would let down if I didn't pick up my game. That an organization does not run simply because of one person - who leads. But because of leaders who work twice as hard than you to make sure your work is easier. At that point I realized much had to change. We couldn't be a team with aimless working and just ideas and no product. Withing a scope of 2 months from that deadlock we had a classroom in collaboration with Save The Quest in the National Association for the Blind. Where we met bunch of wonderfully talented kids, who taught us that world is indeed beautiful - and you need not see it to understand that.

Eight - None months from that deadlock - I can assure you - we're to hit many more speed bumps. But these stop overs are the only thing that make the journey more meaningful. We're expanding the three other locations with over 5 classrooms in hand. And we will grow only bigger in size and opportunity. We have lost a lot of people in the organization - who expected better of us and we couldn't stand to that, others who found better venues. And we thank them all. They have indeed made Together For A Cause what it is. They helped us build ideas, network, and most of all - people management. Today, we're stronger as team and I'm stronger as a part of that. We're not one, but we're all.

The world wasn't changed by those who said they'll try. It's not for those who think they can. It's for those who go out and find out. People have called me crazy to dream so big. And I know I haven't done much. But I know one thing in my heart, if I don't dream big - I'll never wake up to big reality. And that I will never compromise on.

"If they wanted money they would have asked for it. They wanted something bigger, more persistent - Success."

Mothers!

My mother believes she's Superwomen.

She thinks she can fix everything

and when things can't be fixed 

she thinks she fix that.

She knows that when she tells me that it'll be alright

I'll believe her, because we all know

nothing is better than a mother telling you that.

My mother also believes in things.

Things that only she believes in

and probably are not even believed by my grandmother

but she'd want you to work according to it anyway

she'd tell you

don't leave the house now, wait a bit longer

or get a haircut, your fever will be alright

things only she can make sense of

but it's alright that's what's special about her

My mother doesn't want much,

she wants to be just loved and appreciated

and I think I fail at that at times.
I think there are times I think I'm so grown up

that I really just start behaving like a 13 year old boy

And my mother gets hurt, because she keeps on trying

without fail, and I guess that's what makes her

the mother you need, because she'd love you

even when you're being an asshole.

But my mother knows,

that even though we're fighting

and even though we're at each other's throat

I love her. That's who I am. I've always loved her.

She taught me things that no one else has.

She taught me compassion.

She taught me that love someone. But wholeheartedly.

She taught me to forgive.

She taught me that you can be who you want.

She taught me to be better man.

She taught me, a better man doesn't mean you can't be an asshole.

She taught me, being an asshole doesn't mean you can't a good man.

She's taught me how to be strong when things are falling apart.

She taught me never to lose hope.

She taught me never to lose.

She taught me how to live.

And often times, and mostly always

I forget to tell her how much I love her.

And how much she has taught me. 

But I know she knows.

My mother thinks, she's never wrong.

Now I know where I get that from

but you see, she is 

She is wrong, and she's not perfect

and she makes mistakes.

and there are times when she wont accept it.

And then my mother and I will fight.
But if I can tell you a secret

that's us, that's who we are

we're two people who fight and love

and work in this dysfunctional way.

My mother has a very different opinion on child discipline

It mostly includes

beating the shit out of with a ruler, or maybe belt or maybe

every once in a while if you think taking shower is bitch, why not try drowning the kid.

But you see, that's most of the Bangali parents.

Hell I think that's all of Indian Parents.

So don't judge, my mother loves me.

But my mother is beyond all of that,

she's sometimes over the edge with her inquisitiveness

but I don't really mind cause I know she only wants to fit in

and bridge the generation gap

I've seen my mother go beyond who she is, to make me comfortable

and maybe I'm not the perfect son, actually I'm not

but I am a kid who does like the little things.

My mom thinks she can cook North Indian Food.

She can't. She sucks with it.

But I honestly don't have the heart to tell her.

She still can't get her chapati right.

Why burst her bubble. I don't want that guilt on me.

So maybe there are times when my mother isn't being all epic.

But there are times when she is.

And there times when she's just being "ma"

So when you come to me one day

to tell me I can't change the world,

think twice because my mother has told me otherwise

she maybe sheltered small dreams

but she never let me sleep with a sky that couldn't fit all the stars I wanted

she told me if I wanted the sky, I could have it

and if I could have it, I could work for it.

She never said road to happiness would be easy

she said it'll be worth it.

She also told me, life will get harder

and sometimes for a long long while

and I'd think that this is all that's there to it

but I should wait because things get better

because I can change the world.

So when you come to me to tell me the world's just too big to be changed

remember you're talking to the son of a Superwoman.

  

Raising Hope

Once upon a time
in a far far away land lived a beautiful soul,
made of smile, hearts and oh! so grande!
and there is a story that I'll unfold!


She was loved by all
and possessed by some,
but was never away from anyone's reach
just her disguise was common to none.

Some looked for her in their faith
some searched for her in their mind,
some searched for her when in misery
and comfort was all they were able to find!


She made no bias, she had no tilt
a simple soul to lift your heart,
she'd pick you up even if you leave her alone
and decide to give her another chance.

 She gave everyone a reason to believe
that all you need to hold is a rope,
sometimes she lied to make you smile
and with love we called her Hope.


She is one, she is all
she is some and sometimes she's tall,
 for some she's an amulet for some she's a piece of gold
for she is all that to me and a part of my soul!

 When all is gloomy, and the glass is half empty
she tells me that I'm not wrong yet I'm a fool!
I ask her what she means and she tells me
the worst is yet to come, and the glass is half full!

Time has changed, so did tide
the worst will come and break us all in our mind,
for we may wait, or we may walk
what we decide will always be the trail we leave behind!

You keep your hope, and I'll keep mine
some days are Sundays some are fine,
for some its just another phase, for some its divine

but if it's winter can the spring really be far behind?

- Nirjhar Bhattacharya

[p.s. this is probably the 4-5th version of "raising hope". I initially had started off with a normal blog entry ... and well "hope" was the central theme. but it over went quite a few changes and well, I'm quite glad I held it off for about 4 months now and I'm quite satisfied with the result! 

lately, things have been quite messed up. my result (board) didn't turn out so well ... and well I decided to give up on all that I had. And among it all, I had my one last hope left. My baby! She stuck around, helped me go through it all, even though she deserved more of the happiness then my misery. So this poem is really a dedication for you honey. 

I'm sorry I never ended up posting the other blog I was telling you about. But I hope you thoroughly enjoy this. 

forever and always, babe!]

[p.p.s. that photo says "THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE" on the extreme right]